Hi there friends,
Sorry for being M.I.A. but last week was such a blur. School was extra intense, our dear friend Dan came out from Chicago to kitty-sit for us (and househunt for himself! yay for more west coast friends!) and we were struggling to get ready for my brother-in-law’s wedding in Chicago.
The wedding was wonderful, a music-themed affair at a concert hall! There were mixtape place cards, record centerpieces and a pizza party! I cried while on stage for the ceremony and when it was all over, my husband looked at me and said “seeing them up there today reminded me of how filled with love and joy we were on our wedding day”. ❤
So here we are, trying to relax and recover from the big day and honestly, I haven’t been this exhausted in a long time. The physical and emotional toll it takes to make trips back, spend time with friends and family and try to “be on” for days at a time can be really tough. Don’t get me wrong, I miss everyone and part of me enjoys being here. I love seeing our families and a few dear friends. I enjoy visiting old stomping grounds (hello, Chicago Diner, Victory’s Banner and Bleeding Heart Bakery!) I take pleasure (albeit temporary) in the changing of the seasons.
There is that other part of me that doesn’t enjoy being here. The combination of painful nostalgia with the feeling that I don’t really belong anymore. And that is the strange part. Having the same conversations that you had years ago with old friends. Dreading the small talk that comes with stagnant relationships. The feeling of being smothered in an old place, struggling to make new experiences and identities.
Sorry for being so emo but I have been in a strange funk ever since we got here and felt like sharing.
Once we get back on Tuesday, there will be some fun posting so stay tuned!
[photo from Lydia]